As I made my way to work through the deserted streets of Toronto, I came across a strange scene. An old woman was crossing King Street, headed north on Yonge. A police Forensic Services van (read: the “By Definition, We Only Show Up Long After the Trouble is Over” Van) was waiting at the light, and the driver had his window open. As the women passed, she said something like:

“God bless you boys. I’m praying for you. Good luck out there.”

This struck me as the kind of thing you say to a soldier going into combat, and the kind of thing said by a very frightened person. So why was this women so scared?

Presumably, she has subscribed to the widely held belief that this weekend’s G20 summit will somehow unleash biblical levels of destruction across the GTA. You know, fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes…The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria!* This belief is, of course, somewhat  irrational (except, apparently, the bit about earthquakes).

Here’s what will happen this weekend: roads will be closed. There will a lot of people angry about something, and telling us all about it. There will be some property crime and/or civil unrest. The downtown will be deserted. Essentially, this is an average summer weekend in Toronto turned up by about 15 per cent. Even if things do go seriously pear-shaped, the damage will be cleaned up, we’ll all have a good think about what happened, and things will go almost immediately back to normal. We even have some helpful historical examples to guide our prognostication, all of which speak to the negligible effects of having the G20 come to your town:

• Washington, DC, USA (2008): Still Standing
• London, England (2009): Still Standing
• Pittsburgh, USA (2009): Still standing, also still has awesome football team

So there you go. I will 100 per cent guarantee that Toronto will still be here post-conference. Nevertheless, people seem very worried. Why is that exactly? These facts are all easy to perceive, so something must be clouding our reason.

I blame the media.

Scoring points off of the clowning band of hucksters we rely on for information is pretty damn easy, true. But I think the media really does deserve to be slapped around for this one. On a wide variety of issues – from terrorism to Swine Flu – our beloved fourth estate provides coverage that’s less the “Here are some facts for you to consider” variety and more the “DEAR GOD WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE EVERYBODY PANIC” type that really makes our public discourse pop with nonsense. There’s a well-traveled theory that media ‘primes’ the public, or frame what we think is important, and how we think about those important things. The media has uniformly portrayed G20 (and WTO, and IMF, and World Bank, and all other such events) as violent clashes between thuggish police and dangerous extremists. This primes everyone: police assume it’s their job to drop the hammer. Protesters assume it’s their job to be violent. And we assume we should all be very scared and get the hell out of dodge. The media has presented us with a picture of what  this event is going to look like, and we’re all keen to play our assigned parts.

There are a lot of legitimate issues around the conference. Why does it cost so much? Where do we draw the line between civil liberties and public safety? Why are these people protesting? Why don’t the G20 leaders care? But we can’t have a serious debate about any of these things if we’re frightened.

So, old lady crossing the street, don’t be scared. Everything is going to fine. This weekend will come and go, maybe with a few more headlines than normal. But we’ll all still be here on Monday.

*Ghostbusters is pretty much the best movie ever.

My friend Matej is doubly blessed: he knows a lot about great bands most people don’t know about, and is a great writer. I am thus tickled to present a happy combination of the two for your Friday reading enjoyment. A more comprehensive list you are unlikely to find.

The Oughts

The only thing harder than cataloguing your favourite music is writing an introduction to a catalogue of your favourite music. According to iTunes, I have almost 800 albums from the period between 2000 and 2009. That’s not almost 800 complete albums, but it means I have at least one song from that many — and in many cases, many more. This is by no means meant to comprehensive, exhaustive or otherwise complete. In fact, I’m sure I’ve forgotten something. And were I to make this list again in a month (or even a week), it would probably be different. Nevertheless, here are 50 of my favourite albums since 2000:

Alexisonfire | Crisis (2006)
It’s amazing to me how seamlessly this band blends soaring, beautiful melodies with desperate, screaming vocals. Or maybe it’s not seamless at all. Maybe it’s the harsh juxtaposition that makes it work. It’s also amazing that I couldn’t get into it at all at first, but now it’s a staple from the last decade.

…And You Will Know Us By the Trail of Dead | Worlds Apart (2005)
The title track begins, “Random lost souls have asked me, ‘What’s the future of rock ’n’ roll?’ I say, ‘I don’t know, does it matter?’ This and that scene, they sound all the same to me, neither much worse nor much better.” This might not be the future of (alt-prog-art) rock, but it’s certainly a welcome evolution. Powerful.

The Aquabats! | Charge! (2005)
Costumed poppy punk rock (is that even a genre? Sure, why not) at its fun, energetic, campy best. Every song title ends with an exclamation point. I find it hard to listen to this album and not smile. Read the rest of this entry »

I don’t like Ann Coulter. In fact, I would go so far as to so I hate Ann Coulter. She’s a shrill, unpleasant human being who cynically preaches ignorance and intolerance to make her living as a cog in the paleo-conservative anger machine. I try to ignore Ann Coulter as much as possible in the hopes that she will just – somehow – go away and leave us alone.

But as much as I hate Ann Coulter, I also love freedom of expression. Which is why I’m so irritated by this whole flap at the University of Ottawa.

In case you missed it, here’s what happened: Ms. Coulter is currently on a speaking tour of three Canadian universities, including the University of Ottawa. On Friday, March 19, the Vice-President Academic and Provost of U of O, Francois Houle,  wrote a letter (read it here) reminding Coulter of Canada’s anti-hate legislation and warning her to be respectful during her speech. This was pretty unusual, and got tongues wagging on both sides of the border. But then, in a truly bizarre move, the university canceled Coulter’s speech last night.  Apparently, it was a “public safety issue”, although I suspect it was more of a case of intellectual cowardice.

Here’s the thing: freedom of speech is important. And it is really important that everyone be afforded this right equally. Canceling a speech because of what someone might say is wrong. If Coulter were to say something hateful enough to trigger Canada’s hate speech laws (legislation which I don’t entirely agree with, but that’s a post for another day), then she should be charged. But the point is that this should happen after her speech, not before.

When people – especially those who oppose Ms. Coulter’s views – let her speak, they actually do themselves a  favour. It gives them insight into the twisted machinations of her brain. I always hate it when, say, a white-power guy is set to speak and everyone shows up and boos him off the stage. Listen to the moron. Learn how his mind works. If you’re serious about engaging in the war of ideas, you should at know your enemy. That’s just good strategy.

Gagging Ann Coulter also shifts the debate into her preferred zone of debate – perpetual victimhood. As soon as her speech was cancelled, the conversation immediately changed from “Are Ann Coulter’s views correct?” to “Is Ann Coulter being persecuted for her views?” The first debate is pretty easy for her opponents to win. The second is almost impossible. The University of Ottawa has done Ms. Coulter a solid by confirming her central speaking point: liberal society – particularly universities – are anti-free speech and discriminate against people with conservative views. People like Coulter can be intellectually defeated (here’s a good example), but you’ve got to have the balls to engage them in open debate. This business just gives Coulter a free pass.

In the end, universities are supposed to be places of debate rife with the conflict of ideas, not bastions of shrinking liberal violets who lack the courage of their own convictions. Let’s fight ignorance with facts, intolerance with reason. Let’s fight out in the open and without fear. And above all, let’s not hide behind our laws and hand our opponents an easy victory.

Would I go see an actual biopic about Weird Al? Yes. Dozens upon dozens of times. But this will have to do.

Among my various disparate extra-curricular activities, I am very fortunate to be on the Board of Directors for The Actors Repertory Company, a pretty kickass theatre group here in Toronto. Our latest show, Martin Crimp‘s The City, is premiering this week, and you should probably go see it.

Why? Because it’s awesome. And that’s not just “I-have-to-say-that-because-I’m-on-the-board” talk. This is a genuinely awesome play. Martin Crimp is one of the UK’s best contemporary playwrights, and the show features a slate of amazing actors and a crackerjack creative team. The City is a dark comedic mystery, and as the Guardian notes, “the brilliance lies in how it allows the audience to create its own story. We emerge deeply disturbed, but aware of a writer in full control of his talent.”

The deets:

Venue:  The Berkeley Street Theatre, Upstairs -  26 Berkeley Street
Opens:  Friday, March 19, 2010
Closes:  Saturday, April 3, 2010
Performances: Monday – Saturday at 8 PM; Saturday at 2 PM
Tickets:  $25 General Admission; $15 S/S/Artists; PWYC Monday

Tickets are available by phone at 416-368-3110, online at www.canstage.com, in person at the Berkeley Street Box Office, or at the door.

Also, if you can get a group together, I can swing you a discount. I have powers.

You were in one of my favourite movies, and for that I am grateful.

Thanks to darkchia00 for putting together the clips.

5:58 AM: Printed. And now, I sleep.

4:52 AM: I think I’m just about done this thing. I’ve lost all ability to judge how good it is. It’s in the director’s hands now. The director’s patient, patient hands.

4:10 AM:

….to Hell.

4:01 AM: Blargh.

3:33 AM: I now have a draft. Let the improvening begin. Look how excited I am:

3:15 AM: A thought occurs: everything I write is garbage.

2:29 AM: I am always impressed by the massive urinal here. A family of vacationing Belgians could live in there for a week if they wanted.

Also, may now be going a little squirrely.

1:41 AM: There was jerky!

12:41 AM: I’ve got about a page and a half now. I only have one actor, so the whole thing is a sort of long monologue. I don’t much envy the poor sod who has to memorize all of the bleating. We’re coming up to the traditional 1AM snack run, so I can get away from this thing for a few minutes. What wonders will I find at the corner store? Do they have jerky? Will it even be open? So many questions.

11:48 PM: We have video!

Note to self: the cradled-laptop shot is not the most flattering.

11:08 PM: I have a title! And a character name! Are they good? Probably not! God, this is fun. All the angst of writing compressed into eight hours.

10:35 PM: It begins. I’ve received my room and actor assignments. I will be writing for the chapel. This is both delicious irony and a happy turn of events, since it can seat a lot of people. I am nothing if not an egoist. For posterity, here’s a picture of my looking happy and caffeinated after completing the obligatory Timmy’s run:

And now, I begin the random stream of consciousness that will loosely resemble a play.