Despite the notable handicap of having very little atmosphere (both in terms of oxygen and nightlife) and a terribly gauche ochre colour scheme, Mars does have a fantastic variety of rocks that look like other things. First there was the infamous Face on Mars. And now there’s a rock that looks like a woman. A green woman. Or a woman wearing green. In any event, stand by all you conspiracy theorists- your hive minds are about to be blown.
The photo, taken by the Spirit rover, seems to show something vaguely humanoid in shape. And by that, I mean it’s a humanoid-shaped rock. But, assuming for one moment it’s not a rock and some sort of alien creature, what the heck is it doing? Kung-Fu fighting? Pointing at the rover menacingly like Bjork after a paparazzo? The figure also appears to be walking sideways along a rock outcropping, suggesting either very sticky feet or anti-gravity abilities.
And if we look at the full picture, the alien hypothesis gets even stranger:
Where in the hell is she going? Where are the villages? The cities? The reasonably priced restaurants? If we accept that this is actually a form of life, then we must also accept that these poor schmucks are doomed to wander a barren landscape, occasionally crossing paths with a video camera. Not unlike living in Wisconsin, actually.
This might be a good time to mention the phenomenon of Pareidolia, or ascribing significance to vague or random stimulus. Humans are hard-wired to recognize human shapes in non-human objects, so we’re always seeing faces and bodies where they don’t exist. Like Abraham Lincoln in a cloud. Or Britney Spears in a classroom.
So, mankind has certainly found an entertaining rock on Mars. We have not found a Martian woman. And besides, everyone knows all the hot chicks hang out on Venus.
Really, more interesting than the shape is the colour – green could indicate the existence of a moss or algae, perhaps a bacteria colony – the kind of life one might actually expect to find on Mars.