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Archive for April 30th, 2008

green bin

Colossal Squid has biggest eye in the world

You may have heard about the Giant Squid. Big, tentacled, frequently maligned as killer of sailors and bane of Johnny Depp’s nautical misadventures (Yarrrrr, the Kraken be CGI).

But what you might not know is that there is actually something bigger than a giant squid: a COLOSSAL SQUID. These bad boys feature tentacles lined with razor sharp protrusions, and an impressive 15 metre length. Fisherman caught one of these ginormous squids off the coast of Antarctica last year, and scientists have begun the task of poking around inside its gooey bits. And possibly making the largest calamari appetizer ever.

Today’s big revelation? The Colossal Squid has the animal kingdom’s largest eye. The monstrous peeper is 11 inches across, and has a lens the size of an orange. In other words, the squid’s eye is as big as your head. Somewhere, a Lenscrafters CEO just had a coronary.

In related news, I have just found my new Super Villain name. The Colossal Squid’s superpowers include looking slimy, being slimy, and just plain lookin’. I call trump, Dr. Octopus. Trump indeed.

April 30th, 2008 by graeme | | 1 comment »

the war on idiocy

Italy gives fascism a whirl (again)

*Sigh*. How’s that old saying go? Something about history repeating?

The good and tragically misguided citizens of Rome have elected Gianni Alemanno as their new Mayor. Alemanno was once a neo-fascist youth leader, and his victory parade was chock-a-block with straight-arm Nazi salutes and cries of “Duce! Duce”. ‘Duce’, you’ll recall, was the official title of Benito Mussolini, loyal ally of Hitler and coiner of the term ‘fascism’. A touching tribute, especially for a man that the citizens of Rome killed and hung on a meat hook. Also, if you say ‘Duce’ with a vague Italian accent, it sounds kind of like ‘Douche’.

And the far-right fun doesn’t stop there. Celebrating his countries dramatic shift to the right, newly re-elected Italian PM and epic slimeball Silvio Berlusconi called his compatriots “the new Falange”. The Falange was the name of the Spanish fascist party, the same one that unleashed 34 years of dictatorship on Spain. That’s certainly not something I’d like to be associated with, but it looks like Berlusconi has chosen his side.

Italy is also bringing back some good ol’ fashioned brown shirt thuggery. Umberto Bossi, Berlusconi’s closest political ally, claimed that if the Centre-Leftists didn’t go along with his political plans, “I have 300,000 men always on hand.” Oh yeah. Government by intimidation. That takes me back.

All of this raise one question: Italy, what is it you think you’re doing, exactly? You, more than (almost) everyone should know the dangers of opening the doors to these anti-democratic thugs.

April 30th, 2008 by graeme | | no comments »