Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Montauk Monster, eat your heart out.

A press conference has been scheduled for this Friday (August 15) in Palo Alto, California. According to a press release distributed today, a body of a large primate found in Georgia will be presented to the media.

Is this Bigfoot at last?

It sure sounds like Bigfoot. From the press release:

Here are some of the vital statistics on the “Bigfoot” body:
*The creature is seven feet seven inches tall.
*It weighs over five hundred pounds.
*The creature looks like it is part human and part ape-like.
*It is male.
*It has reddish hair and blackish-grey eyes.
*It has two arms and two legs, and five fingers on each hand and
five toes on each foot.
*The feet are flat and similar to human feet.
*Its footprint is sixteen and three-quarters inches long and five and three-quarters inches wide at the heel.
*From the palm of the hand to the tip of the middle finger, its hands are
eleven and three-quarters inches long and six and one-quarter inches wide.
*The creatures walk upright. (Several of them were sighted on the same day that the body was found.)
*The teeth are more human-like than ape-like.
*DNA tests are currently being done and the current DNA and photo evidence will be presented at the press conference on Friday, August 15th.

I know, I know. This could very easily be a publicty stunt or a hoax- it sounds waaaay too good to be true. But several high-profile cryptozoologists, including Cryptomundo founder Loren Coleman, have reportedly seen photos of the creature. And Coleman for one thinks it is significant:

I feel, in all honesty, this, indeed, may be the real deal, and I say this carefully after reviewing information that has been shared privately with me. I cannot say more yet. But people will be very surprised.

From what I know of Loren Coleman, he wouldn’t knowingly go along with a hoax or publicity gag. This is a guy who truly cares about cryptozoology. So if the ‘Georgia Gorilla’ is a fake, then it must be a very, very good one.

So, I guess we’ll have to wait until Friday. I’m not sure what to make of all this, but I am definitely intrigued. A real Sasquatch carcass would blow a Bigfoot-sized whole through the world’s own idea of itself, turning modern science onto its head. 

Check back here for updates as the story develops.

McCain’s campaign isn’t just led by an old, out-of-touch white guy. It actually behaves like an old, out-of-touch white guy, too.

Enter the latest McCaain attack on Obama’s supposed celebrity status:

I mean, I guess I get why they’re doing this. They want to portray Obama as frivolous and unfit to lead. Except for one thing: Americans freakin’ love celebrities. It’s like bread and water to them. The more frivolous, the better. Sure, there is a large core of serious voters who actually evaluate policy positions and make informed decisions. But Obama actually has policies that are attractive to many smart voters, and these folks won’t be swayed by such obvious tactics. And really, these ads aren’t even very clever. Or funny. Or even well done. But for the Big Brother/reality show crowd (read: vast stretches of America), a celebrity president is a dream come true.

The first rule of campaigning is “define your opponent before he can define himself”. While the McCain camp may think they’re stealing a march on their opponent, the strongest undercurrent of these ads is “everyone likes Obama”. I suppose that’s one way to define your opponent, but certainly not the way that will win an election.

Which, incidentally, is fine with me. An Obama presidency is all I really want for Christmas.