Hiya folks.
I won’t be posting anything today (besides this), as this is my last day in my current job. Blogging time has been devoured by “pack up my crap” time and “desperately attempt to finish outstanding projects” time. Lame, I know.
But I will be back tomorrow with a super-sized linker. And in the meantime, enjoy your Friday.
The Nunc.
Sorry ’bout the late arrival, folks. You know, work and junk.
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I was in Shoppers Drug Mart last night, and I happened by their bargain DVD rack. On it was a single copy of Chuck Norris’ 1986 actioner The Delta Force. This film has one of the strangest DVD covers I have ever seen:
First of all, both Chuck and Lee Marvin are holding bazookas, a weapon that became obsolete in the 1950s. If the Delta Force is as awesome as we have been led to believe, then you’d think they’d have some nicer gear. Moreover, a bazooka is typically fired from the shoulder position, not from the hip as illustrated hear. I mean, Chuck Norris is awesome and everything, but a recoil-induced broken arm will reduce anyone’s combat effectiveness.
Second: poor, poor Lee Marvin. He looks about 150 in this photo, and is still being forced to heft a six kilogram rocket launcher and fire it from an incorrect, ulna-crunching angle. Also: why is Lee Marvin in the Delta Force? I thought they were supposed to be elite and awesome, not old and drunk. If I were a hostage on a hijacked 707, and I saw Lee Marvin wheezing to my rescue followed by a right-wing weirdo with a mullet and a beard, I’d just shoot myself and save the terrorists the trouble.
So yeah. Weird cover.
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The Superbowl is once again upon us. And while I alwaysrejoice in this weeklong festival of football, this year is especially awesome. My beloved Pittsburgh Steelers - aka Team of Destiny, aaka the only evidence I would accept for the existence of God – are facing off against the upstart Arizona Cardinals.
Now normally, I would wish nothing but humiliation and injury upon the Cards. But, despite the undeniable fact that they are going to lose, and lose hard, they deserve some respect. Why? They actually used to be part of the Pittsburgh Steelers.
Follow me back to the year 1944. America is at war, and the strapping farmboys normally playing football are otherwise occupied blowing up Nazis in France. This left the NFL short of crucial manpower, and sacrifices had to be made. So, the Pittsburgh Steelers actually merged with the then-Chicago Cardinals (another fun fact: the Cards also played in St. Louis before arriving in Phoenix). The new team was called the Car-Pitts. And they were terrible.
During the 1944 seasons, the Car-Pitts posted an 0-10 record, threw 41 interceptions and set a record for bad punting that stands to this day. Things got so bad that their star player, Johnny Grigas, skipped town before a late-season game.
Of course, if you give your team name rhymes with “Tar Pit” and sounds exactly like “Carpet”, you’re not exactly giving them a leg-up on success.
Once the war ended, both teams went their separate ways. The Steelers, clearly favoured by the universe, went on to win 19 divisional titles, 7 conference championships, and 5 Superbowls, spawning 22 hall-of-famers in the process. The Cardinals went on to…uh, well…one conference championship (this year) and five divisional titles. They have never won a Superbowl. In fact, this is the first year they’ve ever even been in the Big Game. Look, they have a small songbird as their logo, so what do you expect?
It’s almost as if the Steelers took what little good their was in the Car-Pitts, bundled it up, and made it epic. The Cardinals got to keep all the mediocrity and shame. And when the Steel Curtain comes down on Arizonan this Sunday, the Steelers will underline that fact with a vengeance.
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