Sorry about the delay in posting today, folks. Last night’s power outage and consequent Internet chaos has derailed my blogging schedule.

But, better late than never.

Canada

• Quebec dog survives 19 days locked in a car.
• The Atheist Bus campaign may be coming to Toronto.

World

• We’re barely halfway through January, and we already have the hero of the year.
• PETA attempts to rename fish as “sea kittens” to stop people from eating them. Little do they know, I also eat kittens.
• A bus driver in Southampton refuses to operate a bus carrying an Atheist ad.
• A coffee company has chosen an odd slogan: the former motto of Nazi concentration cap Buchenwald.

Science & Tech

• Handy new iPhone death calculates your odds of dying  at a given location.
• Why not visit one of the former USSR’s atomic (and highly radioactive) lighthouses?
• Firehose + missile launcher = badass.
• Dude. Mars totally farted.
• Our universe may, in fact, be a giant hologram. 

Pop Culture

• The Watchmen lawsuit has been settled, and the film will be released as planned. Hallelujah!
• Was Jack the Ripper a woman?
• The Zombie-Nazis from Dead Snow are also selling hot chocolate in Norway.
• The most disgusting cheese in the world. Bonus: maggots attempting to eat your eyes.
• Keanu Reeves to star in a live-action version of Cowboy Bebop?
• Boy George is going to jail.
• Ron D. Moore wrote a prequel to John Carpenter’s The Thing? Awesome!
• DVICE claims the Battlestar Galactica would defeat the Enterprise in battle. Lies!
• Radio stations are a bit confused about handling Britney’s new single: “F.U.C.K Me”.
• The BSG prop auction has begun.
• Steven Tyler is a creepy, creepy man.
• British wine snob calls beer drinkers “loser and sadsacks.” SO getting punched.
• Steve Carrell is now the proud owner of a small-town general store.

Ah, Internet. You teach us so much.

Today’s gem is Superuseless Superpowers, a blog about special abilities that deliver no benefit to their owner. My favourite is “In-Flight Flight”, or:

Known as the “Cabin Sparrow,” this so-called power lets you fly, but only within the confines of an airplane. At least you can leapfrog the beverage cart when explosive diarrhea strikes at 30,000 feet.

Other useless powers include “13th Bullet Bulletproof Skin”, “Ultra Short Range Teleportation” and “Turning into a Brick Wall. Forever.”

Gold.

Thanks to Kottke for the link.

Here’s a stormtrooper driving a matching white Lotus Exige, courtesy of Jalopnik. 

See? Being a stormtrooper isn’t all getting blowed up and clubbed by Ewoks. And really, what other car would one of the Empire’s finest be driving?

Canada

• Apparently, people still fall for email scams. I mean, I’m sorry this kid lost $150,000, but c’mon.

World

• An Australian submarine commander suggests women in bikinis might help solve a recruitment crisis. Hey presto, you just sank your career.

History

• 90 years ago today, Boston was beset by a flood of molasses. Sounds funny, except it was really awful. Drowning in syrup = a rotten way to die.

Media

• Be sure to watch Bush’s farewell address tonight. I’m hoping he’ll finally answer, after all these years, exactly what he was thinking.
• Six minutes of Polish porn was accidentally broadcast on Hamas TV last night. That technician is in all kinds of trouble.
• Michael Moore is being sued for stealing a photograph, then misreprenting it on his website. Jerk.
• The Pentagon has a brand new, freaky science webcast. Mmmm. Explodey.
• Researchers expend hard-won grant money to determine that people flirt on Facebook. Well done, Einstein.
• A Russian oligarch will soon own London’s Evening Standard.

Science & Tech

• Northrop unveils its B-2  stealth bomber-themed motorcycle. But is it invisible to speed radar?
• Steve Jobs will leave Apple for six months, due to health reasons.
• The top five best bets for life in the Solar System.
• Drinking coffee may increase your risk of hallucination. I keep trying to explain this to the giant turtle sitting next to my French Press, but he’s having none of it.

Pop Culture

• Khan is dead. For real this time. We’ll miss you, Ricardo.
• Surest sign of career death: Harrison Ford is doing a movie with Brendan Fraser.
• Star Wars, as retold by someone who hasn’t seen it.

This is so good.

Combining the numerical index post from yesterday, and today’s focus on falling, I am pleased to present this story of man-love and awkwardness from Nashville.

Say you’re a high school football coach in town for a few days. To pass the time, you:

1. Get drunk. Like really drunk.
2. Take off your shirt and pants.
3. “Wrestle” with another coach.
4. Manage to crash through a window.
5. Fall four storeys.
6. Do all of this things at a place called the “Gaylord Opryland Hotel“.

I credit this story to my completion of an Internet meme yesterday. I asked the Web Gods to shower me with riches, and lo, they have provided.

Vesna Vulovic holds an incredible record. Here’s how the story goes: after the Serbain Stewardess’ plane was bombed and broke apart in midair, she fell 10,160 metres (or 33,333 feet)…and lived. After falling 10 kilometres straight down, Vulovic suffered only a fractured skull, two broken legs and three broken vertebrae. She made a full recovery and continued to work as a flight attendant.

Vulovic holds the  Guiness World’s Record for longest fall without a parachute, and is a sort of national heroine in the former Yugoslavia. But new evidence is casting doubt on the story, and the whole thing is beginning to smell like a cover-up by communist officials.

The official account holds that Yugoslav Airlines Flight 367 was brought down by a bomb planted by Croatian nationalists. The only evidence for this theory was a mysterious call to a Swedish newspaper by an individual who claimed he planted the explosives, and fragments of an alarm clock thought to be part of the detonator mechanism. Despite this paucity of proof, the bomb story was never really questioned.

 Enter Czech journalists Peter Hornung and Pavel Theiner. Using classified documents, they have constructed a very different  account of Flight 367′s final minutes. They believe the airliner strayed into restricted Czechoslovakian airspace – just minutes from a nuclear missile facility and threateningly close to Soviet leader Leonid Brezhnev’s personal plane, coincidentally in the air at the same time. Hornung and Theiner believe the airline was mistaken for an enemy aircraft, and shot down by the Czechoslovakian air force. Said Hornung:

 ”It is extremely probable that the aircraft was shot down by mistake by the Czechoslovak air force, and in order to cover it up the secret police conceived the record plunge. The Czechoslovak secret police managed to spread this wild tale throughout the world. No doubts have ever been expressed regarding the fall. The story was so good and so beautiful that no one thought to ask any questions.”  

Based on this information, and the testimony of eyewitnesses, Hornung and Theiner believe Flight 367 actually broke up much closer to the ground. This is also supported by the relatively small crash zone, as a higher disintegration would have scattered debris over a much wider area.

It now appears Vulovic fell only 800 metres , not 10,000. Still an incredible feat of survival, but perhaps more in the realm of the possible than the ”official” story. For her part, Vulovic – who bravely protested against Slobodan Milosevic in the early ’90s – has claimed in recent interviews that she “would not be disappointed” if the world-record fall proved to be false. She has no memory of the incident, and can’t verify it one way or the other.

So there you go. Another reminder that if something seems to good to be true, it probably is. Funny how often we all forget this basic little truth.

Canada

• Hydro panels in Toronto sidewalks are short-cicruiting, setting up a risk of electric shock. At least one dog has been killed. Call me crazy, but aren’t we paying people to make sure this never happens?

World

• UPDATE: The businessman who attempted to fake his own death by parachuting out of his plane has been arrested. The kicker: he was found after an apparent suicide attempt.
• Sarah Palin goes after “bored, anonymous, pathetic bloggers.” Because that  will get us to leave you alone.

Media

• Check out Blogging the Origin, where an evolutionary biologist blogs about a new chapter of Darwin’s Origin of the Species every day.
• Has American media turned on Israel?

Science & Tech

• Diabetics rejoice! You may soon be gnawing on insulin chewing gum.
• Is there a Stonehedge-like structure under Lake Michigan?
• Ladies, are you suffering in a cold office? Try these USB powered boob warmers.

Pop Culture

• This video made me laugh (slightly NSFW).
• Ryan Seacrest achieves apex of human awkwardness while attempting to high-five a blind guy.
• MightyGodKing brilliantly combines Joe the Plumber with Homer Simpson. Hat tip to you, sir.
• The most awesome car ever devised by the idle hands of man.
• Geeks beware: the premiere of BSG on Friday will run 3 1/2 minutes long. Set PVRs accordingly.