Cryptomundo is breaking the news about a new photo of something strange in Loch Ness, allegedly captured on film by a vacationing couple:

Says Cryptomundo’s Loren Coleman:

As far as I am concerned, there is no definite proof or even claim that what is visible in this photographic image is a Nessie or one of the Loch Ness Monsters. What it is, right now, is an image from Loch Ness, allegedly.

Right now, it just looks like a shapeless blob. It’s not even clear if the thing is in water, let alone how far away it is. But, assuming the backstory is true, it is something.

I interviewed Adrian Shine, director of the Loch Ness Project, years ago. He described his job as not hunting for monsters, but rather “trying to explain what people have seen”. I don’t think this is a photo of a prehistoric animal. Still, assuming the witnesses aren’t crazy or hoaxsters, it sure would be interesting to come up with an explanation for this anomalous image.

This is so good, it defies my meagre attempts at commentary and context:

“My ear! I’m not supposed to get eel in it!” Robot Chicken, I salute you. Via i09.

Spinal Tap, aka the only band that matters, is set to record some new material for a release later this year.

The band – Nigel Tufnel, David St. Hubbins, and Derek Smalls – have not released an album since 1992′s Break Like the Wind. Said Smalls:

“It’ll be for download as well as on conventional media later this year. We’ve never recorded the song we did at Live Earth, Warmer Than Hell. We’ll do a song called Gimme Some More Money, probably with some dubious results.”

Awesome. Could this be the first step towards a full-on reunion and the long-awaited sequel to the 1984 classic This is Spinal Tap? I hope so.

And now, a brief glimpse into the genius of this seminal band:

Usually I’m confused and upset by rampant movie merchandising. I don’t really need Wall-E themed kleenex, or  a James Bond Omega watch. OK, scratch that. I’d like an Omega James Bond watch, but there’s no way I could afford it.

Anyways.

Despite my antipathy towards this kind of branding exercise, I find myself oddly excited over the news that the a new line of men’s cologne will be accompanying the new Star Trek film, due out in May. The three scents – “Red Shirt”, “Pon Farr” and “Tiberius” – conjure the muskiness of command, Vulcan mating rituals, and Captain Kirk respectively.

Now, you might be asking yourself “which Star Trek scent is right for me?” Well, this is a deeply personal decision, one you must come to after hours of painful introspection. For me, the choice is clear. If I wear “Red Shirt”, my odds of dying on an away mission increase exponentially. And as I understand it, “Pon Farr” can only be worn once every seven years, and will necessitate some sort of grim battle to the death.

No, “Tiberius” is the Trek cologne for Graeme. Because really, who doesn’t want to smell like Captain James T(iberius). Kirk? A galaxy full of sexy and occassionally green space-babes can’t be wrong!

Canada

• Ontario premier Dalton McGuinty wants to create a “creative economy”. More pie-in-the-sky, anyone?

World

• A South Korean woman is preparing for her 772nd attempt at passing her driver’s test.
• Rats are eating cars in Washington, DC.
• The presence of bird remains have been confirmed in both engines of US Airways 1549.
• Al Qaeda uses rape to “recruit” female suicide bombers. Anyone who follows these bastards should be shot on sight.
• Are authorities finally getting close to solving the 1982 Tylenol murders?
• New evidence suggests Nazi war criminal Aribert Heim, aka Dr. Death, died in Cairo in 1992. After converting to Islam.
• Bill Gates released a swarm of mosquitoes on a crowd of unexpecting TED talkers. Ah, crazy rich people. You so craaaazy.
• Apostrophes and class war. Only in England.

Media

• 109 Journalists died in 2008.
• Former Guns N’ Roses member Duff McKagan is now a financial columnist for Playboy. And we wonder why we’re in a financial crisis.

Science & Tech

• A boy was born yesterday with 24 perfectly formed fingers and toes- an extra digit on each hand and foot. If this dude runs into Inigo Montoya, he should just run.
• Researchers are exploring why humans do stupid, herd-like things…like supporting murderous dictators.
• “There’s snakes out here this biiiiiig?”

Pop Culture

• Stephen King flames Twilight author Stephenie Meyer, despite eerie similarity between their first names.
• This full-size Warthog recreation makes me really wish someone was still making the Halo movie.
• Lux Interior, lead singer of epic band The Cramps, died yesterday.
• Watch the new Watchmen viral, explaining the ins and outs of the superhero-banning Keene Act.
• I think I’m in love.
• Motorized chariot races! Why are we just coming up with this now?
• Kanye West’s entourage look like aliens from beyond the moon.
• Coke is finally removing “Classic” from their labels, assuming everyone has forgotten about “New Coke”. I haven’t.
• Join this church, and get a T-Shirt that proudly proclaims how sexually repressed and no-fun you are.
• Looking for something a little different the Valentine’s Day? Why not a hunting trip with the Nuge?
• Neil Gaiman will be in Toronto – doing something currently mysterious - in June.
• A man robbed two convenience stores with a Bat’leth. Kupla!

Hiya folks. Sorry about all the downtime yesterday and today…my hosting company appears to be experiencing some sort of epic crash. Anyways, we’re back up now an ready to rock. Hopefully I’ll be able to work through the backlog before the whole thing goes to Hell again.

Servers = science’s rubik’s cube. That is all.