Nunc Scio

I’ve always been a bit disappointed about the world’s glaring lack of superheroes. More specifically, I’m a bit annoyed that I don’t have any superpowers. I’m not talking Superman levels of invincibility here, but is it too much to ask that I have some heat vision or laser feet or something?

But, I am comforted with today’s news that, in fact, superheroes are real. Three year-old Liam Hoekstra has a rare genetic condition – one without any known harmful side effects – that is turning him into a baby-hulk:

Liam has the kind of physical attributes that bodybuilders and other athletes dream about: 40 percent more muscle mass than normal, jaw-dropping strength, breathtaking quickness, a speedy metabolism and almost no body fat.

In fitness buffs’ terms, the kid is ripped.

Liam can run like the wind, has the agility of a cat, lifts pieces of furniture that most children his age couldn’t push across a slick floor and eats like there is no tomorrow — without gaining weight.

Jesus. Somebody get that kid a cape. And a Fortress of Solitude. But wait, it gets better:

“He could do the iron cross when he was 5 months old,” said his adoptive mother, Dana Hoekstra of Roosevelt Park. She was referring to a difficult gymnastics move in which a male athlete suspends himself by his arms between two hanging rings, forming the shape of a cross.

Hold on… adoptive mother? This kid is Superman.

And yes, before someone points this out in the comments, I know the story was posted almost two years ago. But it’s pretty damn cool, so I’m writing about it anyway.