Bill Shatner’s epic freak-out on genetically engineered, bare-chested super jerk Khan Noonien Singh (Khaaaaaan! Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!!!) is now an iconic sci-fi moment and ubiquitous pop-culture reference. But now, thanks to an enterprising artists, it’s also the strangest art film of 2009.

Daniel Martinico took Kirk’s outburst and stretched it into a 15 minute film. Sounds insane, right? Maybe a total waste of time? How about the MOST POWERFUL FORM OF MIND CONTROL KNOWN TO MAN:

That’s a two minute bootleg clip, and it caused me to pass out on the floor and lose 20 minutes of time. Can you imagine watching the whole thing, on a big screen? I think my brain would liquefy and ooze out of my ears. The mind boggles at the potential for a Shatner-based super-weapon.

Also, after watching all the little muscles twitch and pull on Shatner’s face, I have a whole new appreciation for him as an actor. Go figure.

Read more at LA Weekly. Via Kottke.

So it looks like the epic Alien series is getting a prequel. Tony Scott is producing, and Carl Rinsch (I haven’t heard of him either) will direct.

I’m amenable to a new Alien flick, mostly to wash the bitter tang of Alien Vs. Predator 2 out of my consciousness. But I am a bit curious as to how they’ll set up a prequel. They could invent another “first contact” scenario, but that would basically be a remake of the first movie with better special effects. Since the otherwise reprehensible AVP films also set a precedent for human/Alien contact in the 21st century, I suppose they could do something with that. But personally, I think the franchise works best as a space-opera-featuring-a-drool-monster tale. So, the far future is where I’d set it.

And the big question: will Ripley be back? I’m guessing not. Unless it’s “young Ripley” played by Keira Knightley. I’d be pretty OK with that.

I’m a bit of a bike guy. Or more accurately, a total bike nerd. So, I’m predisposed to things that involve bicycles, mention bicycles, or even sound like they might concern bicycles in some way. Take the popular contraceptive “tri-cyclen”. It’s not a product I use, but I’m still a big fan for its subtle incorporation of the word “cycle”.

Of course, every obsession has its limits. Today, I found mine: Bike Polo. Like the name suggests, competitors ride around on fixed-gear bikes with polo mallets and attempt to knock a small ball into a goal. And, because it combines any number of fringe, exclusive activities (fixies, obscure sports, borderline illegal use of urban space and stupid outfits), it is also a perfect storm of hipsterism:

BIKE POLO TOURNAMENT – CPCV09 from Androsky Knauer on Vimeo.

Oh, it’s all there. Ironic facial hair. The hint of drug abuse. Wan-looking, bored women hanging around for some reason. Completely unnecessary nudity. Basically, this is a sport played by extremely unpleasant people for the sole benefit of other extremely unpleasant people. It’s a form of organized douchebaggery, and I object.

Which is too bad, really. Bike Polo requires a lot of riding skill, and for all their posturing, these guys can handle their bikes. We can only hope that Bike Polo increases in popularity to the point that the truly virulent hipsters lose interest and normal bike enthusiasts can play without fear of undeserved derision. And the hiptards can move onto something even more obscure, like “Unicycle Rugby” or “Tricycle Fishing”.