Journey to the centre of the earth?

Call it an adventure holiday for the more-money-than-sense crowd. A Russian icebreaker will set sail next year to find a giant hole somewhere the North Pole- a hole that leads to an advanced civilization living in the centre of a hollow earth.

The expedition includes futurist, physicist and possible lunatic Brooks Agnew. He sure is excited:

...if we do find something, this will be the greatest geological discovery in the history of the world.

Sure. And if I find a unicorn living in my bathtub, that would be the greatest zoological discovery of all time. That's the thing about discovering things that don't exist. The whole enterprise is fantastically lucrative and entirely impossible.

By Agnew isn't pulling this stuff out of thin air. The modern idea of a hollow earth got its start with Sir Edmund Halley, venerated discoverer of comets, way back in the 17th century. Some variation of the theory has been kicking around ever since. Contemporary variations hold that the inner-earth is home to UFOs and possibly even Adolf Hitler. Sneaky Nazi bastards.

If Agnew does manage to find a passageway into an inner-earth, I'd like him to ask the hyper-intelligent and/or Nazi inhabitants one thing: have they seen my car keys? Becuase, sweet jesus, I've looked everywhere else.