Everything I know about pirates is wrong

According to Slate Magazine, anyway. They've taken it upon themselves to debunk my most dearly held pirate myths. Disappointing discovery: pirates never said arrrr.

Redeeming discovery: some pirates formed utopian proto-anarchist enclaves, that were brutally supressed by European monarchies.

The jury is still out on whether pirates resembled current or former members of the Rolling Stones.