Harper won't interfere if Black comes home, tail between legs

The PM vowed today not to 'interfere politically' if Lord Conrad Black, convicted felon, seeks to return to Canada while on bail, or regain his Canadian citizenship. An important point to make, since a criminal record has a way of complicating a visa application. Still, Harper's statement is interesting in its specificity. Sure, he won't interefere politically, but there are still a lot of other ways he could get involved:

  1. Emotionally. A tearful Harper wails at border guards until they let Black through.
  2. Heroically. The PM leads a JTF2 mission to recover the troubled former press baron from an American prison. Canada carpet-bombed the next day.
  3. Geometrically. Harper befuddles immigration officials with sketches of intricate shapes. Black sneaks by dressed as a dodecahedron.
  4. Whimsically. Harper recounts the glory days when we protected and encouraged our corporate criminals, not put them in jail. Canada converts to a corporate kleptocracy, and Conrad Black is our new king.

And the list goes on. So as you can see, ol' sneaky pants Harper may have a few more tricks up his sleave.