If you love cocaine, you might just be a low-status monkey

Interesting research out of the Wake Forest University School of Medicine this weekend. Apparently, monkeys that rank low in social status amongst their peers are way more likely to hit the sweet, sweet blow than their high-status counterparts when placed in stressful situations. Scientists involved in the study claim the findings will help improve how we treat drug addiction. Here's what I take away from this: cocaine is just another crutch used by the profoundly inane to cope with the demands of real life. This explains both Gary Busey and large swathes of the Bay Street workforce.

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One of the many low-status monkeys used in the Wake Forest study. Also the only one to appear in a film with both Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze.