It started off as a nice little story about drunken men harassing dolphins. But the write-up it got in The Guardian is epic. After a night of drinking at a house party, two young men in Sandgate, UK went for a swim. Once in the water, they encountered a dolphin. And, being drunk, they decided to play with the dolphin. Local residents, alerted to the aquatic festivities by the sounds of revelry, called police. The two men were charged with charged with "recklessly disturbing a wild animal under the Wildlife and Countryside Act". Oh, and the dolphin is a local celebrity. Nobody knows why it's hanging out in Sandgate, but scientists believe it became separated from its pod and decided to settle down.
That's pretty weird. But then the story goes straight into Crazytown.
Crazy thing #1: The dolphin is a female, and is well known to be a girl. Yet for some reason, the townsfolk call her 'Dave'.
Crazy thing #2: This paragraph:
Jukes denied witness reports that he had grabbed the dolphin's dorsal fin and tried to climb on to its back. "I didn't hurt the dolphin in any way. I didn't think I did anything wrong."
Crazy thing #3: This paragraph, which puts the previous one to shame:
James Barnett, a vet with nearly 20 years' experience who has been involved in many marine animal rescues across the country, said that if dolphins become too familiar with humans they could become unpredictable and dangerous and even make sexual advances.
Sexual advances? Kind of casts SeaWorld in a whole new light.
Suffice it to say, I will be watching the outcome of Dolphingate with great interest.
You just keep your fins to yourself, mister.