Darth Vader assaults two Jedi in Wales

Oh man, there is so much awesome in this story I had to lie down for an hour before I could write it. Awesome thing #1: Man from Holyhead, Wales drinks a 10 litre box of wine.

Awesome thing #2: Man takes garbage bag, cuts a hole in it, puts it on.

Awesome thing #3: Man hurdles garden fence, repeatedly screams "DARTH VADER", and assaults two teenagers with a metal crutch

Awesome thing #4: One of the teens recently started a local Jedi Church in Holyhead.

Awesome thing #5: The two had been filming a 'lightsaber battle' in the backyard immediately before the attack.

Awesome thing #6: Man claims he has no memory of the event, and only realized he had dressed up like Darth Vader and attacked two kids when he read about it in the paper.

So what have we learned? Boxes of wine and Star Wars don't mix. Crutch trumps lightsaber. And the two assaulted teens are TOTALLY virgins. Thanks to AB for the link.