Everybody knows motorcycles are cool. I know it. You know it. Your grandmother definitely knows it. Due to this unassailable coolness, I've often contemplated acquring a bike. But which one is right for me? I'm not badass enough for a Harley. I'm too scared to ride a Ninja. And as for the Hondas and Yamahas, I can't get behind a motorcycle made by companies that also produce Civics and keyboards respectively.
And then I found this: The Ural Gear-up. It's camouflaged. It has a sidecar. And, for all your rough-track needs, you can engage a driveshaft to the sidecar wheel, turning this bike into a two-wheel drive bruiser. It will climb like a goat and is built like a tank, so much so that Wired declared as one of the top-ten best post-apocalypse rides. Sweet.
Ural is a Russian (nee Soviet) company that developed its first bikes in 1940 by reverse-engineering the BMW R71. In the process, the bike took on a distinctive Russian quality- ugly as a boar, but nearly unbreakable. And if it does by some chance break down, you could probably fix it with a pocket knife and some twine.
The asking price of $13,599 is pretty steep for a bike that maxes out at 100km/h. But it's the bike for me, as it fits most closely with the Nunc Scio gear philosophy: it ain't pretty, but it gets the job done.