Starbucks closures: the great non-crisis

You'd think with the crumbling economy, disastrous foreign wars and impending climate calamity, Americans would have more important things to worry about than their local Starbucks franchise. And you would be wrong.

The chattering classes are up in arms over Starbucks' plans to close 600 stores. Turns out, the recent economic downturn has not been kind to the purveyor of over-priced coffee and fine blended products. Said one afflicted yuppie:

"Now that it's going away, we're devastated."

Really? While I have been known to indulge in the occasional latte at my neighbourhood S-bucks, I cannot imagine a world in which its closure would be 'devastating'. But a series of petitions and letter-writing campaigns have sprung up across the USA, all with the goal of saving their local mega-corporate coffee shop.

These people should take a look around. If the closing of your local Starbucks is the worse thing you have to worry about, you're doing about 1,000 times better than 90 per cent of the world's population.