New name for Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii

Giving your child a name is an awesome responsibility. One false move, and you transform your once-promising progeny to the life of a social pariah. But like all responsibilities- driving a car, owning a gun- some people just can't hack it. Take the case of a nine-year-old girl from New Zealand, who her parents named "Talula Does the Hula From Hawaii". Although it contains two proper nouns, this is really more of a sentence than a name. The girl is so embarassed by her bizzaro moniker that she applied to be a ward of the court, just so she can change her ridiculous handle.

New Zealand, it seems, has a brave tradition of bad names. "Number 16 Bus Shelter" and twins named Benseon and Hedges top the list. But many more wacky names are rejected every year- Fish and Chips, Yeah Detroit, Stallion, Twisty Poi and Sex Fruit.

So, parents, heed this advice. You may think you're being funny and clever giving your child a weird name. But really, you're just being a gigantic jerk. And your child will hate you.