Recession hits fairies, children

The global economic woes aren't just putting people out of work and putting bankers into apoplexy. Magical creatures are also feeling the pinch. A new British survey reveals that the average amount left for newly-toothless children in the UK by the Tooth Fairy fell from about $2.28 to  $1.63 over the past six months. More shocking, 38 per cent of UK children don't get any money at all from the big TF. The survey of 1,000 households was conducted by milk producer Cravendale, and is called the "pillow index".

The implications are clear:

  • Cravendale Milk is weathering the current economic troubles with nary a care, since they seem able to spend money on totally frivolous surveys.
  • British children are rich. I was lucky to get 50 cents when I coughed up a molar. Although to be fair, the advent of the loonie increased my haul dramatically.
  • More study into the economics of tooth collection is urgently needed. Where is the price pressure coming from? It can't be supply, since children will be losing tooth regularly until the end of time. So, it must be demand. Apparently, the global tooth industry is drying up, imperiling the jobs of hard working fairies everywhere. 

So, in this time of reduced means, spare a thought for the poor, poor Tooth Fairy. Donations can be made to the TF Relief Trust, c/o me, through my PayPal account. Give until it hurts!