Hating makes you smarter

Fascinating new research has revealed something interesting about the neurological processes behind hatred. Sure, it does the thing you'd expect, like activating the aggression centre and the motor cortex, presumably lay some hurt down. But it also increases your judgement and ability to reason what people may do next. Quoth the study:

What seems not to be in doubt is that this cortical zone involves the premotor cortex, a zone that has been implicated in the preparation of motor planning and its execution. We hypothesize that the sight of a hated person mobilizes the motor system for the possibility of attack or defense. In addition, the involvement of the frontal pole considered to be critical in predicting the action of others, arguably an important feature when confronted by a hated person . . . it is more likely that in the context of hate the hater may want to exercise judgment in calculating moves to harm, injure or otherwise extract revenge.

In addition, the level of brain activity seems to be proportional to the intensity of hatred for a given person. To wit: hate is actually quantifiable. If you put me in a room with John Mayer, my brain activity would be slightly elevated. If you put me in a room with Ann Coulter, I should be able to see through time.

Of course, given my propensity to develop burning hatred for everything from toasters to the Toronto Transit Commission to Sarah Palin, you'd think I'd be a goddamn genius by now. 

So, next time somebody says to you, "dude, don't be a hater", reply as snidely as you can, "Or what? I'll kick your ass in a game of chess?"

On second thought, don't do that. Via i09.