Way back in 1984, A biologist named Justin O. Schmidt created a ranking scale to describe the pain associated with the sting of various insects, called the Schmidt Sting Pain Index. This would not be particularly interesting, had Schmidt not attached strange, wine-connoisseur-esque descriptions to each entry. For example, the sting of the Sweat Bee is:
Light, ephemeral, almost fruity. A tiny spark has singed a single hair on your arm.
While the Bullet Ant sting feels like:
Pure, intense, brilliant pain. Like fire-walking over flaming charcoal with a 3-inch rusty nail in your heel.
Useful, since I will now avoid Bullet Ants like the plague.
I find this all very amusing, as I picture Dr. Schmidt inflicting a particular sting on himself, then staring thoughtfully at the heavens while considering the precise dimensions of his pain and preparing to capture it in evocative prose. Just goes to show- you've got to love what you do.