Ah, Internet. You teach us so much. Today's gem is Superuseless Superpowers, a blog about special abilities that deliver no benefit to their owner. My favourite is "In-Flight Flight", or:
Known as the "Cabin Sparrow," this so-called power lets you fly, but only within the confines of an airplane. At least you can leapfrog the beverage cart when explosive diarrhea strikes at 30,000 feet.
Other useless powers include "13th Bullet Bulletproof Skin", "Ultra Short Range Teleportation" and "Turning into a Brick Wall. Forever."
Thanks to Kottke for the link.