"Original" Battlestar Galactica movie remake is a crime against awesome

Hollywood is out of ideas. It's been said so much over the past decade, it's almost axiomatic. But you know the creativity bank is really low when people start talking about taking an idea that has already been re-booted and devolving it to its earlier, lamer form. I like the new Battlestar Galactica TV series. A lot. It's one of those rare shows that combines compelling human stories with a willingness to go after big ideas. The show is well-acted, well-written, and the production design is excellent. Basically, it has everything that the original BSG lacked. The 1979/1980 versions, and the bastardized movies they produced, were about men wearing capes, inexplicable robot dogs, and endlessly recycled footage. Just compare old Starbuck vs. new Starbuck, and you'll get a sense of what I'm talking about:

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I know which one I prefer.

So imagine my surprise when the news broke last week that Universal Pictures may be planning a BSG film. Everyone behind the new series has repeatedly said there will be no film version of the current show. Any new film would therefore have to be a second reboot of the original. Which makes no sense whatsoever.

The writers and producers of a BSG film would have two choices: try to make it cool and modern without copying the new series, or just parody the campiness of the original. The first option is at best derivative, and at worst a complete waste of time. The original was rebooted, it was really good, and there is no need at all for a second attempt.

The second option is also undesirable, because it sort of sullies the BSG brand. It went from cheesy to massively relevant in the space of a year. To go the other direction now seems like more of a cash-grab than an attempt to make a decent film. Sure, everyone likes making fun of the 1970s. But not if it destroys a bankable sci-fi franchise in the process.

We can only hope the rumors are just Internet hype. If they're not, I pray an enraged Ron D. Moore takes matters into his own hands. And Hollywood, if you're really hard-up for ideas, give me a call. I have tonnes of ideas for kickass sci-fi films. All of them starring me. And maybe Natalie Portman. But not a single robot dog.