It's official: New G.I. Joe movie will suck

In the past, I've expressed mild optimism for the upcoming GI Joe live-action movie. I see now this was due to a misplaced enthusiasm for women in tight fatigues, which early press materials featured prominently. Let's face it. This movie is going to be terrible. Not even Christopher Eccleston as Destro can save it.

Just look at what they did to Cobra Commander, via a leaked toy image:


Crikey, that's lame. He looks like a white Rip Hamilton, who can't play basketball,  in a bad bodysuit. Give me the ol' Hooded CC any day. This is what Cobra Commander should look like:


And now, to help cleanse your retinas of uber-suck movie Cobra guy, here's the opening to 1987's GI Joe: The Movie. I still think this is one of the finest theme song extenda-mixes ever created. I also like posting it at least once a year.