Yesterday, I posted a photo of a Lenin statue with a bombed-out posterior, the victim of some over-enthusiastic April Fools. This is what it looked like:
Hilarious! And as an extra-special treat, I let you, my faithful reader, decide the punchline. After a day of feverish voting, I am please to announce the winner: "A joke about how 1917 Russia was still a largely agrarian society and thus not ready for a communist revolution, as per Marx's original formulation", with a staggering 44 per cent of the vote.
So here you go, Nunc Scions. Here is your punchline:
Dusk. Highgate Cemetery, London. A somber Vladimir Ilyich Lenin kneels bedore the tombstone of Karl Mark. It is windy. Somewhere, a coyote howls, despite the fact that coyotes are not native to England.
Lenin breathes in. And then out. And then, as if engaged in the act of breathing upon which all life depends, in again. He speaks.
LENIN: Blessed Marx, who art in Heaven, which is where the opiate of the masses lives, I know you said that an agrarian society like Russia is not ready for a communist revolution, and that socialism will only happen in an industrial society like England. But I've got a really good feeling about this. Like really, really good."
Friedrich Engels steps into view, then realizes he is not actually in this scene. He stands around awkwardly for a few moments before exiting.
LENIN: So, oh wise and munificent Marx, if you think it's a bad idea to stage a communist uprising in Russia, thereby leading to a variety of unpleasant things like Stalin, a stillborn economy and Chernobyl, please give me a sign."
Lenin's pants inexplicably explode.
LENIN: Fair enough.
Ta-daaaaa! Comedy gold. And you're welcome.