The periodic table just got slightly harder to remember

Today, scientists announced that a brand-spankin' new element would be added to the Periodic Table of the Elements. Dubbed "Copernicium" (after 16th Century astronomer Copernicus), it is the heaviest element in the table, weighing in at a hefty 277 times the weight of hydrogen.

Of course, it can only be found in the milliseconds after you bombard lead with zinc ions. This makes me a little suspicious. I mean, we can't just go letting every new element into the periodic table. There need to be standards. I'm uncomfortable with flaky and short-lived Copernicium (Cp) sharing classroom wall space with a reliable

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stalwart like Iron (Fe).

I hereby propose the Nunc Scio Rule for PT admittance: if I can't make a necklace out of, be poisoned by it, or use it to blow up the Hindenberg, then it can't be in my periodic table.

Chemistry, you've been warned.