Racists are dumb: the basketball edition

I don't expect the title of this post to surprise readers of this blog. I'd say the idiocy of racists is more or less axiomatic. Anyone who believes in the inferiority or superiority of a particular group of people based on superficial morphological differences is clearly one mast short of a schooner. But sometimes, it's important to stop, sit back and truly appreciate the dizzying heights of stupidity reached by these people. Take Don "Moose" Lewis (please). He is the commissioner of the new "All American Basketball Alliance", currently looking to set up franchises in 12 cities in the Southeast United States. In order to differentiate itself from popular basketball leagues that you might actually like to watch, the AABA has strict limits on who can participate. Namely, "Only players that are natural born United States citizens with both parents of Caucasian race are eligible to play in the league."

Yes, that's right. "Moose" Lewis presides over the first overtly racist basketball league in the history of the game. Like most people of his ilk, Lewis justifies his hatred of others though poor grammar and trapezoidal exercises in logic:

"There's nothing hatred about what we're doing," he said. "I don't hate anyone of color. But people of white, American-born citizens are in the minority now. Here's a league for white players to play fundamental basketball, which they like."

For the uninitiated, Lewis' conception of "fundamental basketball" is distinct from "street ball" played by "people of colour". It's also different from fundamentalist basketball, which is like regular basketball with more frequent prayer breaks.

The phrase "fundamental basketball" immediately makes me think of a bunch of guys in bushy moustaches and tight pants throwing a leather ball into old peach baskets. This scenario is immediately recognizable to anyone who has watched Canadian television in the last 15 years:

So, to summarize "Moose" Lewis' proposal, he would like to take basketball to it's rich, honky-strewn roots, and therefore make it totally unwatchable. With strategic thinking of this quality, the AABA is surely poised to take over the world. Well, the predominately white parts, anyway (I'm looking at you, Switzerland).

To me, this just seems like a bunch of mediocre white basketball players sore that they can't play in the NBA on account of all the fantastically talented Black/Spanish/Turkish/Canadian/Etc. cluttering up the court. In fact, this kind of thinking is the basis of most racism, scaled up by many orders of magnitude: a bunch of people, painfully aware of their own shortcomings and terrified of fair competition or equal interaction, building little walls to hide behind. Schoolchildren should be required to attend AABA games just so they can see what human failure looks like in shorts and hi-tops.

Also, never listen to a man whose nickname is "Moose". Don't ask me how I know this. I just do.