Too bad the story sounds laaaaame:

The comic starts with Spider-Man’s alter-ego Peter Parker taking photographs at the inauguration, before spotting two identical Obamas.

Parker decides “the future president’s gonna need Spider-Man,” and springs into action, using basketball to determine the real Mr. Obama and punching out the imposter.

Mr. Obama thanks him with a fist-bump.

Unfortunate. Of course, this is still another notch on Obama’s list of accomplishments: decent basketball player, inspiration for a generation of young people, first African-American President….and now, collapser of the metaphysical barriers between fiction and reality.

And he hasn’t even taken office yet. Amazing.

Speculation is rampant over the culprit. Metal fatigue, falling ice from an airplane, lightning or even a meteorite have all been proposed as explanations. A spokesman for Ecotricity, owner of the turbine, said that whatever caused the damage was ”probably the size and weight of a cow”.

One potential explanation getting a lot of media traction: the turbine was struck by a UFO. Residents reported seeing strange lights the night of the incident, and aliens are notorious for their dislike of wind.

The UFO explanation rings hollow for two reasons. First, the Guardian is reporting that the lights were merely fireworks from a local birthday celebration. Second, I find it difficult to believe aliens who possess the ability to travel through the vast and dangerous expanse of space somehow lack the technology to avoid a giant spinning blade mounted on a tower in the middle of a field.

I think the cow hypothesis deserves more attention. If the English countryside is beset by a plague of flying bovines, the public has a right to know.

I’m sure somebody will come up with a decent explanation soon. And in the meantime, here’s footage of a Danish turbine malfunctioning and cutting itself in half. Wind power: safe and reliable.

• Union boss apologizes for comparing Israel to Nazi Germany. You had to know that wouldn’t go over well.
• The evacuation of Canadians from Gaza is now underway.

World

• Be the first on your street to own the official US Government “Terrorist-a-Day” calendar.
• Here’s some good environmental news for a change- sea ice has recovered to 1979 levels.
• New stealth jet? Yeah, not so much.
• Police in Sydney are on the look out for a ‘blow-up doll bandit’. This story is actually grosser than you are currently imagining.

Media

• The Onion’s excellent A.V. Club now has a shiny Twitter feed.
• SCI-FI Wire rounds up some cool sci-fi Twitter feeds of their own.
• French TV airs photos of alleged victims of Israel airstrikes. Only problem is, they’re actually photos of people killed by Hamas in 2005. Nice one.

Science & Tech

• Ever wonder how giant flying dinosaurs got off the ground? Wonder no more.
• A new study suggests Stonehedge was the perfect venue for a totally bumpin’ rave.
• Hundreds of birds - inlcuding rare pelicans - are dying off the coast of California. 

Pop Culture

• Own the Cloverfield Monster.
• Welcome to Lily Dale, NY…the world’s largest spiritualist community.
• Novels written on cell phones are the new hotness in Japan.
• The guy (yes, guy) who created Barbie was a freaky swinger.
• Mickey Rourke and Sam Rockwell are villains in Iron Man 2.
• Disney is making a prequel to 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea. I hope they call it “Li’l Nemo”.
• New Judge Dredd movie! I hope the plot involves the new JD hunting down and executing Sylvester Stallone for making the horrendous 1995 film.

Samuel J. Wurzelbacher, aka “Joe the Plumber“, is heading to Israel to cover the conflict with Hamas. Oh good. That should be edifying.

Wurzelbacher will be reporting for conservative website PajamasTV, apparently more interested in trading its credibility for a little exposure through a political gimmick from a failed presidential campaign than, you know, the ‘news’.

The erstwhile plumber says he wants to let “Israel’s Average Joes’ share their story.” He seems to think that a shared averageness will allow for a more genuine connection, despite the notable barriers of language, religion, culture, history and geography.

Of course, this kind of logic is the same that gave us Sarah Palin: the odd view that only people who are exactly the same can meaningfully understand one another. Joe the War Correspondent belongs alongside statements like “I’m a redneck soccer mom. Sarah Palin is a redneck hockey mom. Therefore, she is the only candidate that understands me.”

I always thought insight came through intelligence, intellectual curiousity, and, you know, reading books and junk. But I guess I’m just old fashioned.

Photo by Rona Proudfoot.

This captures the endlessly difficult decisions that arise when battling Zombie Nazis. I’m not sure what the zombie transmission mechanics are for this film (virus, occult, etc.), but cutting off your arm is unlikely to help. And the other thing…well, goodnight.

Død Snø - or “Dead Snow” - is an official selection at this year’s Sundance Film Festival. And even if it wasn’t, I would be scouring the world for a copy. It looks incredible.

One of my New Year’s Resolutions is “listen to more podcasts”. I’m planning on launching a few in ‘09, and plan to steal ruthlessly from my colleagues. This plan is paying dividends already, since I found a great ’cast almost immediately.

It’s called The Moth, and it has a simple premise: interesting people telling interesting stories, live with no notes. And they’ve attracted a few big names: Malcolm Gladwell, Neil Gaiman, Ethan Hawke, Moby, and many others. If you’re lucky enough to live in NYC, you can catch The Moth live, either their Mainstage or amateur StorySLAMs. But for the geographically challenged, they roll the best stuff up into into a weekly podcast.

It’s a nice reminder of the simple power of stories. People understand the world through the stories they tell, to themselves and to others. The Moth is an elegant reminder that to understand someone, you just need to listed to the stories they tell.

• CNN medical reporter Sanjay Gupta is the new Surgeon General of the United States. Imagine…trading the limelight for dour warnings on cigarette boxes.
• Danger Blog offers some sober insight into Israeli use of white phosphorous munitions in Gaza.
• The UK’s Atheist Bus Campaign has raised so much money, it’s going global.
• Nigerian motorcyclists are wearing pumpkins on their heads to evade a mandatory helmet law. Hilarious, until you run into a car.

Media

• The NYT deathwatch has started. And, it may not be so bad. In the long term, of course.
• Revealed! The US Air Force’s remarkably unhelpful dealing-with-bloggers flowchart.

Science & Tech

• Check out Obama’s sweet new presidential ride.
• UFO season starts early in New Jersey.
• What it feels like to die in a black hole. Hint: it’s called bifurcating spaghettification.
• In an incredibly gross experiment, researchers determine love actually changes your sense of smell.

Pop Culture

• Here’s a sneak peek of Battlestar 4.5. Glooooomy.
• Jalopnik presentes the world’s funniest street signs.
• Val Kilmer stars in a new movie where global warming unleashes an alien virus. Aaaah! Val Kilmer!
• The inventor of the Hawaiian shirt has died.
• New Romero zombie flick. Let’s hope …Of The Dead is better than the last one.
• Most. Em-bare-ass-ing. Ski trip. Ever.
• Stooges guitarist Ron Asherton was found dead yesterday.
• Sci-Fi Wire remembers the strangest comicbook crossovers. Like this one, that I actually owned:

And then I see a story like this.

Across America, many grown women are embracing the trend of “Reborns” - ultra-realistic dolls that simulate having a real baby. People feed them, play with them, even through birthday parties for them. Leaving aside that “reborn” sounds like the title of a bad zombie flick, this is easily one of the craziest things I’ve ever heard of.

First, listen to the quotes from these Reborn devotees:

“It’s not a crazy habit, like, you know, drinking, or some sort of, something that’s going to hurt you. It’s like a hobby.and it doesn’t really hurt anybody.”

Here’s a central rule of craziness. If you start any sentence with “It’s not a crazy [blank]“, whatever you’re talking about is invariably crazy. And then there’s this gem:

“What’s so wonderful about Reborns is that, um, they’re forever babies. There’s no college tuition, no dirty diapers… just the good part of motherhood.”

Ah yes. The joys of cradling a lump of latex rubber in your arms. Truly what motherhood is all about.

And if these nutbars aren’t enough, check out a picture of one of these monstrositites:

GAH! That thing is like one of the Midwich Cuckoos. Looks human, but totally soulless. In fact, it may be actively attempting to steal your soul.

Something has gone critically wrong in the brains of reborn enthusiasts. But I think this whole phenomenom speaks to a strange mania at the heat of modern culture. A frenetic desire for ‘real’ emotional experiences without any of the mess or complication of actually participating in the life events that create those experiences. It’s like doing crack. Feels good for a bit, but its ultimately a hollow act.

• And again, Canada remains totally awesome at hockey.
• A major union seeks to ban Israeli academics at Ontario universities, struggles to remember definition of “academic freedom”.

World

• If you’re the parent of a four-year-old with anger issues, for the love of God, lock up your shotgun.
• US Army goes after disaffected urban youth with kickass mall arcade.
• Bush tries to compensate for eight years of environmental thuggery by creating a new ocean conservation area.
• Oh, and he also released a book highlighting his “accomplishments and results” over the past eight years. It’s a quick read.
• Iran takes national insanity to a new level as 70,000 volunteer for suicide attacks against Israel.

Media

• Time Warner is pulling the plug on community access television in California. Somewhere, George Newman is weeping.
• Britney, Obama among victims of Twitterhack ‘09.
• French TV goes commerical-free in primetime.

Science & Tech

• Wired presents its top 10 scientific breakthroughs of 2008. Mmm. Petaflop.
• Another prairie meteor?
• The Milky Way will crash into the Andromeda Galaxy sooner than thought. Don’t worry too much about it: we still have a cool 7 billion years or so.
• Titanium golf clubs may be causing hearing damage. Power drive!
• Pink Iguanas give Evolution another boost. Not that it needed it, but still.
• A buried Spanish Galleon has been discovered in an Argentinian construction site.

Pop Culture

• The diaries of Capt. Woodes Rogers, explorer and rescuer of the real Robinson Crusoe, have been found.
• A 1970 issue of Cracked magazine predicts the future. Damn prophetical satirists. This is why I read Mad.
• New adult film/creature-feature mashup Cleavagefield features clothes-eating flying lobsters. No, really.

Man, those Icelandic Lutherans are pretty easygoing. Fitting role models for this aggravating day.